Posting this for Kittlen, because of something we discussed the other day. Names and other details omitted, as I’ve never spoken publicly about this before, and don’t want to expose my identity or that of ‘A’. Continue reading “‘A’”
Being Kittlen’s dominant can feel at times like being on a roller-coaster ride. Kittlen has a lot of emotional and health issues to contend with, which impacts on her moods and behaviour in various ways. On top of that, she has two teenage children and one tween, which can affect her mood. Then there are the body memories, the traumas of her past.
I’ve been discussing with Kittlen about where our relationship is heading. We both care about and have helped each other through various rocky periods over the last few years.
Kittlen brought up the issue of trust, stating that she didn’t feel that my land in Second Life was her land. While I’ve allowed her to add various things, I hadn’t given her permission to move items around my property. And she had allowed me to see where in Second Life she is, but I had not yet given her the similar capacity. I’ve since granted her those abilities, with the proviso that she exercise these powers with care.
In some respect, that decision was a no-brainer. I’ve known Kittlen for over two years now, and feel I can trust her. But it is a big step, particularly for an introverted person like me. Letting someone alter your online world? That is like allowing them to change your dreams and memories.
Kittlen’s former dom resurfaced last Thursday. Ezee hasn’t been on Second Life or FetLife for months. He made a few brief appearances on Facebook and Twitter, which I know about because both Kittlen and Coyote reported this to me.
I’m sat in the YMO Galleria with Kittlen in my arms, once again.
I still have to pinch myself. Me, a dominant? Yes. I’m still getting used to and learning about this new responsibility, but it isn’t the deep dive I thought it would be.
8391 met with Unit E1 (who was still Athena Leistone at that point) at the YMO sim in Second Life.
It had been a tumultuous few months for this one before that meeting. It had suffered depression, stress, burn-out. Plus the pain of ending its relationship with its earlier Master. E1 had reached out to and supported this one during that time. So when She asked it to help her at the YMO sim, it agreed wholeheartedly.
But now E1 was reaching out for not only this one’s service but its mind and body too.
I am many things. I am many parts.
I am the maid that dusts, the drone that patrols, the object on display.
I am the instigator of roleplay, who runs with words and leads a merry kinky dance with anyone who’ll join.
I am the moderator, the welcome, the guide to those who are newcomers.
I am the watchful eyes, the ears that listen for the predators, spammers, trouble makers.
I am the ears filled with music, entranced by sound.
I am the mouth that suckles, the throat that swallows, the ass impaled when Owner chooses to use them.
I am the lust that burns, the heart that beats faster in Owner’s presence.
I am the hand that comforts, the arms that enfold those who are suffering.
I am the stare directed at those who dare to attack the vulnerable.
I am the builder of pixels, vectors, text and code.
I am the mind emptied of fear, anxiety and doubt.
I am the soul that Owner unlocked and freed.
I am all this, and more.
But I am just a number. I am without identity, without a will. I am docile, obedient.
I am 8391.