Kinky Geeky Pansexual Genderqueer Gynoid. Does *Not* Transform Into A WW2 Fighter Plane
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
—Chumbawamba, ‘Tubthumping’
Fun fact: over on another website where I had a profile, I would using song titles or lyrics for the names of my journal entries. 🙂 Continue reading “Tubthumping”
Around the time I was finalising my previous blog post, the shit well and truly hit the fan. Kittlen threw Penalt out of their home. Then she left a message in the family group telling them to protect me and left. She also left YouMustObey, removed all of her stuff from my land parcel in Second Life, and un-collared herself from me on there too.
Coming in rapid succession, I was walloped and left reeling for a while. Thankfully, other family members reached out to check on and comfort me.
The problems between Kittlen and Penalt had been brewing for a long time, but Coyote’s actions brought it to the boil. The last straw had been her collaring of Penalt without warning or consultation. Kittlen flipped out and told Penalt he had to choose between her and Coyote. He decided to pick Coyote. Continue reading “Separated”
Real life seems intent on throwing more curveballs at me. My mother had a breast scan which revealed the early stages of cancer. She opted for a mastectomy over minor surgery plus radiotherapy. So I’ve had to take out more time to support my terminally ill father while she recovers. As a result means that I’ve had to scale back my online time, which affects my ability to interact with Kittlen.
There is another curveball that I want to discuss. One that came at both Kittlen and myself several months ago, and whose effects we are both still dealing. This one has a name—Coyote. Continue reading “The Trickster”
Second Life is celebrating its 15th birthday (SL15B) at the moment. As part of that, it has been running a week of music events running across several areas. And my Kittlen was not only one of those invited to perform, but subsequently did several fill-in slots for others who couldn’t make it. I am so proud of her! Not only did she kick ass, but she worked with the support staff and other artists to help things run smoothly. 🙂
This last week, at Unity’s prompting, I’ve been busy with real life. In particular, those aspects of real life that I can sort out and make less stressful. It has been reasonably successful but has meant that I’ve had less time to play with Kittlen in Second Life.
Being Kittlen’s dominant can feel at times like being on a roller-coaster ride. Kittlen has a lot of emotional and health issues to contend with, which impacts on her moods and behaviour in various ways. On top of that, she has two teenage children and one tween, which can affect her mood. Then there are the body memories, the traumas of her past.
I’m back up and running again, after a week of living off of my smartphone and tablet. Also, my 2011 iMac is still in the repair shop, and I’ve had to resort to buying a new model so I could start working again. (I’m self-employed, and having a working machine plus my data and apps is a must.) Continue reading “Onwards and Upwards!”
The year is drawing to a close, and it is time to look back and reflect.
I have changed a lot this year, in self-realisation, growth and achievement. At the start, I was still submissive, but beginning to explore the world of dominance with members of my D/s family. And now, that dominance has grown and matured, with the help of my girl Kittlen. 🙂
Kittlen’s former dom resurfaced last Thursday. Ezee hasn’t been on Second Life or FetLife for months. He made a few brief appearances on Facebook and Twitter, which I know about because both Kittlen and Coyote reported this to me.
Some of this one’s thoughts about its evolution that might be helpful to others.
The past moulds and instructs us, but it should not constrict us or limit us.
Letting go of bad memories and experiences is a major step in our personal growth.
Being able to open up to friends about our feelings. To quote Spider Robinson: “Shared joy is multiplied, shared pain is diminished. Thus do we refute Entropy.”
Take care of your physical well-being. Eat well, exercise when possible, get a good night’s sleep. Make a small change to your routine each day. It adds up over time.
As important as the above however is to take care of your mental health. Depression, anxiety, stress affect more people than you might think. And if allowed to build up they can become debilitating.
Social media can be a great way to stay in touch with friends, but it can also steal your time and attention. Keep it only for close friends, and don’t feel that you need to stay logged in all the time.
Turn off notifications on your computer, phone or tablet. Except for those that you need to see. A mind forever distracted can never be at peace.
Some people thrive on making others feel miserable. Or are demanding your time or energy and giving back nothing in return. Show them the door.
There is no shame in seeking help from others. And there is no honour in struggling and failing on your own.
Take time to observe the world around you. Realise that the news is not all bad. See the beauty and wonder in yourself and others.
Life is not a zero-sum game. Your happiness should not come at the expense of someone else’s misery. We have more in common than we have differences.
Pay it forward. Perform random acts of kindness. It all comes back around, and you’ll be a better person for it.
Less is more. If you don’t use it, get rid of it. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses.
There is only one Planet Earth, so do your part to look after it.
Your vote matters. Use it. And hold your representative to account.
Your beliefs are personal. They do not and should not be a rod with which to beat others. No excuse, no justification.
