I do not claim to be an expert on BDSM. As with most new skills I’ve acquired over the years, I’ve learnt while doing. Unlike those other skills, there is a lot more to ‘learning’ BDSM than doing some Googling.
I am fortunate to have had a good mentor in Unity One, but for the most part, she has let me find my way as a dominant. After several years as Unity’s submissive, I could use that experience to inform how I treat Kittlen. I also had my years spend mentoring others online. As it turned out, I would be needing that a lot! Continue reading “On Being Dominant”
Posting this for Kittlen, because of something we discussed the other day. Names and other details omitted, as I’ve never spoken publicly about this before, and don’t want to expose my identity or that of ‘A’. Continue reading “‘A’”
Being Kittlen’s dominant can feel at times like being on a roller-coaster ride. Kittlen has a lot of emotional and health issues to contend with, which impacts on her moods and behaviour in various ways. On top of that, she has two teenage children and one tween, which can affect her mood. Then there are the body memories, the traumas of her past.
Continue reading “Learning From My Mistakes”
I remember the first time I talked on-air in Second Life; I was petrified about how people would react. I was still self-conscious about being a biological male with a virtual female body. And my voice is the most significant giveaway that I’m not a girl—definitely a G.I.R.L (Guy In Real Life), but not a girl. I have been broadcasting for a month or so at that point, and being able to play music I liked and share that with other helped my nerves. And my friends at the time weren’t fazed. But it was awkward nevertheless.
Continue reading “On Being Myself”
I’m back up and running again, after a week of living off of my smartphone and tablet. Also, my 2011 iMac is still in the repair shop, and I’ve had to resort to buying a new model so I could start working again. (I’m self-employed, and having a working machine plus my data and apps is a must.) Continue reading “Onwards and Upwards!”
I started this week feeling like I was walking on air. By the end, I was in a state of mild despair. I needed my Kittlen’s help to get my head straightened, and I’m not entirely out of the woods yet.
Continue reading “From High to Low”
So, 2018 went off with a bang for me!
Continue reading “Happy New Year”
I’ve been discussing with Kittlen about where our relationship is heading. We both care about and have helped each other through various rocky periods over the last few years.
Kittlen brought up the issue of trust, stating that she didn’t feel that my land in Second Life was her land. While I’ve allowed her to add various things, I hadn’t given her permission to move items around my property. And she had allowed me to see where in Second Life she is, but I had not yet given her the similar capacity. I’ve since granted her those abilities, with the proviso that she exercise these powers with care.
In some respect, that decision was a no-brainer. I’ve known Kittlen for over two years now, and feel I can trust her. But it is a big step, particularly for an introverted person like me. Letting someone alter your online world? That is like allowing them to change your dreams and memories.
Continue reading “Trust Exercises”
The year is drawing to a close, and it is time to look back and reflect.
I have changed a lot this year, in self-realisation, growth and achievement. At the start, I was still submissive, but beginning to explore the world of dominance with members of my D/s family. And now, that dominance has grown and matured, with the help of my girl Kittlen. 🙂
Continue reading “Yingle Yule!”
Kittlen’s former dom resurfaced last Thursday. Ezee hasn’t been on Second Life or FetLife for months. He made a few brief appearances on Facebook and Twitter, which I know about because both Kittlen and Coyote reported this to me.
Continue reading “Talking Loud and Saying Nothing”