From High to Low

I started this week feeling like I was walking on air. By the end, I was in a state of mild despair. I needed my Kittlen’s help to get my head straightened, and I’m not entirely out of the woods yet.

It had all started so well. We were discussing a ceremony to celebrate our SL partnership. Kittlen shared with me her recording of the New Years Eve show she had done on Gorean Whip Radio, which included her reaction to my proposing to her while she was on-air. I’d clipped out and saved her voiceover, and shared it with her. She played it during her New Years Day show at Xaara and told everyone there of our partnership. I played it on both my Whip shows. Everyone was congratulating us. I’d even done some adverts for the Whip, one for YMO and the other for Old Guard.

Then, on Thursday evening, as I was chatting and listening to music, my computer display went dark. The computer was still running, and I could even hear the music playing, but the screen was black. I felt the top of the machine; it was sweltering. I powered the computer down, let Kittlen know what had happened via my iPad.

Now was not a good time for my computer to stop working. My credit card was already high from Christmas spending, and buying a new machine will max it out. So I tried Apple Support first, to see if I’d missed anything that might coax the screen back to life. No joy. There is an Apple Store close to me, but I wouldn’t be able to get an appointment at their Genius Bar until next Thursday. So I opted to contact a local repair shop and take the machine into them instead.

That at least meant I would have some idea of what the problem is and whether it is fixable. But it still left me minus the system that provides my livelihood.

To say I was not in a good state of mind would be an understatement. While I can use my iPad and phone to communicate, the computer is the one thing that lets me be my most creative. Without it, I felt disconnected. Worse, most of the files I need for my work, while safely backed up, are currently inaccessible to me.

So, for the last few days, I’ve been struggling to stay positive. My Kittlen has had to remind me of all the things I’ve done, my successes, and how proud she is of me. And she is right. I have so much talent – I just need to figure out how to use it to earn more money. A steady-ish income would allow me to have more certainty, and be able to plan for my future. Kittlen has suggested things I could try, which I will pursue once I’m back up and running.

I was able to get into Second Life via the Lumiya app on my phone so that I could interact with people there. More importantly, my avatar could join Kittlen’s for cuddles, dances and more. She covered both my shift at Old Guard on Friday and the “You Must Dance” show that I usually do on Saturdays at YMO. I was able to listen to both shows via my phone, which cheered me up. And she surprised me on Saturday – she had worked out how to add binaural beats under her music. I am so proud of her!

I’ve let the Whip staff know that I won’t be able to do my regular shows this coming week. Best case scenario, my computer gets fixed by the end of this week. Worst case scenario, I’ll need to get a new computer, get my data back onto it, and get all my applications working again.

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