The year is drawing to a close, and it is time to look back and reflect.
I have changed a lot this year, in self-realisation, growth and achievement. At the start, I was still submissive, but beginning to explore the world of dominance with members of my D/s family. And now, that dominance has grown and matured, with the help of my girl Kittlen. 🙂
During this journey, I’ve discovered more about myself and reaffirmed things that I needed reminding of. Kittlen has been an essential catalyst in this, as she has watched me at work and play. Seeing myself through her eyes, I met a person both familiar and strange at the same time.
It would be an understatement to say that being Kittlen’s dominant has tested me. I have had to do battle with my insecurities and doubts, many times. I am thankful that I have a support network to turn to when I am lost and helpless. Between them, Unity, Kitti, Eleanor, Spa, and Kittlen herself, have helped me to persevere. I am a better person for having done so.
I have also grown in confidence elsewhere in my life. I conceived and started doing a weekly DJ show every Saturday at the YMO Galleria in Second Life. This show incorporated binaural beats and subliminal messages underneath the music. In the process, I learnt how to create and edit audio, as well as combine several audio sources into the same stream. This work, in turn, has helped me to improve my DJ performances elsewhere in Second Life. And then, in November this year, I joined the Gorean Whip Radio network, doing shows twice a week. I have started to develop an on-air persona, playing off of the fact that I’m a blue alien with rainbow spots and pink hair. 🙂
There have been a few bumps in the road. My regular work, while stable, is still not providing me with enough income to thrive on. And my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness this year, which has hit me hard. Watching his health deteriorate has been heart-breaking. I’ve also had to support my mother as she has been dealing with these changes. But I’m coming to terms with what will happen and resolved to make my father’s time as pleasant as possible. And I am hopeful that I can start bringing in more work and money in the coming year and become more secure.
I’ve been enjoying some teas that Kittlen sent me, with a cute little infuser that she also got for me. So far, I’ve got Canadian Berries, Chocolate Hazelnut (very high caffeine), Earl Grey and a special one called Santa’s Secret (black tea with candy pieces). They have all helped to lift my mood, and she has promised to send me more in the New Year. I now need to send her something in return. Or rather, send her kids. Kittlen’s previous dominant, and other partners, broke many promises to them. Her middle child, in particular, wants proof that I will keep my word. So I’m going to arrange for delivery of a box of English sweets to Kittlen’s home in the New Year, as a peace offering.
Even with the bumps, 2017 has been a year of improvement. I am hopeful that 2018 will continue that path.