Drama Llamas

Like regular llamas, but even less pleasant to be around.

Quite a few things have happened since I last blogged, some of them involving unneeded drama.

The first drama unfolded over at Old Guard, the place where I used to DJ and hang out. Except it is no longer called Old Guard.

I had known for a while that there was trouble brewing, even before I handed in my notice there. (Some of the problems are catalogued in this blog post.) And it would appear that both Kittlen and I got away from there before the shit started hitting the fan.

In a nutshell, Cooper’s new girl started getting in people’s faces during events, and complaining to Cooper if she felt slighted in any way. This activity led to Cooper coming down on not just regular guests, but the DJs as well, even Bryan, the OG manager. Then this new girl, whom Cooper didn’t appear to have much control over, decided to redo the entire Old Guard lands. Cue more friction, and more harsh words from Cooper. Eventually, it got to the point of Cooper handing Bryan notice of dismissal, and Coyote promptly followed him out of the door.

Hearing this news filled me with sadness. The Old Guard had been one of only a few places that I’ve been visiting almost since I first entered Second Life. I have met some wonderful people there and had a lot of fun both partying and DJ-ing there. The place had some character to it, which is now, from what I’ve seen, completely lost. I can’t even remember what Cooper renamed it to; it was that forgettable.

From subsequent discussions, I now know that Tajah, Cooper’s former partner whom he abruptly threw out last year, was the real driving force behind Old Guard. With her rejection and departure, the place’s spirit departed with her, and it has been slowly dying ever since. And I suspect that Cooper’s abrasiveness is not a new thing, either. It would perhaps explain why so many DJs came and went over the years.

I pause to remember those whom I lost contact with—Malv, Metz, Aiden, Boyan, Lola, Bathsheba, Calli, Maisie—and hope they are well wherever they ended up. Thankfully, Bryan has rebounded OK, as has Roo (DJ Bunbun) whose set followed mine on a Friday.

I will probably write another blog post at some point with my Old Guard memories.

The business with Old Guard didn’t directly affect me, but the other drama hit a lot closer to home. I don’t want to dig back into the gory details, for the simple reason that it would risk reopening a lot of other folks’ wounds. Suffice to say, the fallout from this drama is still reverberating around Second Life and beyond.

I only have a few things to say about this sorry debacle.

  1. Using someone’s family members to brow-beat them into submission? Not only a dick move but grounds for relinquishing your Basic Human Decency card.
  2. If you’re going to make serious allegations against someone, you had better have substantial evidence to back it up. Chat logs from somewhere else, of conversations between people I don’t even know, whose motivations I don’t trust? Try again.
  3. As Kittlen’s dominant, I can and will defend her against such attacks. Do not even think of trying to anger me. You will regret it.

The person who instigated this drama is no longer my friend. I am saddened but am better off conserving my time and energy to support those who genuinely deserve it.

Thankfully, there has been some good stuff happening, to counteract the drama. There was Fantasy Faire, followed closely by the SL Sci-Fi Expo, both events in Second Life supporting Relay For Life and the American Cancer Society. Both Kittlen and myself were involved in a small way in the latter, as we did several shows on Gorean Whip Radio from there, as part of their sponsorship of the event.

I’ve also had some welcome good news in my real life, with the prospect of more money coming in for my freelance business. This progress gives me a lot of hope that I’m moving forward on that front, rather than feeling like I’m treading water.

I am resolved not to let the drama deflect me from the dual goals of improving my personal and professional situation, and also helping Kittlen grow as an artist and maker and as my submissive.

On Being Myself

I remember the first time I talked on-air in Second Life; I was petrified about how people would react. I was still self-conscious about being a biological male with a virtual female body. And my voice is the most significant giveaway that I’m not a girl—definitely a G.I.R.L (Guy In Real Life), but not a girl. I have been broadcasting for a month or so at that point, and being able to play music I liked and share that with other helped my nerves. And my friends at the time weren’t fazed. But it was awkward nevertheless.

Continue reading “On Being Myself”

Onwards and Upwards!

I’m back up and running again, after a week of living off of my smartphone and tablet. Also, my 2011 iMac is still in the repair shop, and I’ve had to resort to buying a new model so I could start working again. (I’m self-employed, and having a working machine plus my data and apps is a must.) Continue reading “Onwards and Upwards!”

Trust Exercises

I’ve been discussing with Kittlen about where our relationship is heading. We both care about and have helped each other through various rocky periods over the last few years.

Kittlen brought up the issue of trust, stating that she didn’t feel that my land in Second Life was her land. While I’ve allowed her to add various things, I hadn’t given her permission to move items around my property. And she had allowed me to see where in Second Life she is, but I had not yet given her the similar capacity. I’ve since granted her those abilities, with the proviso that she exercise these powers with care.

In some respect, that decision was a no-brainer. I’ve known Kittlen for over two years now, and feel I can trust her. But it is a big step, particularly for an introverted person like me. Letting someone alter your online world? That is like allowing them to change your dreams and memories.

Continue reading “Trust Exercises”

Yingle Yule!

The year is drawing to a close, and it is time to look back and reflect.

I have changed a lot this year, in self-realisation, growth and achievement. At the start, I was still submissive, but beginning to explore the world of dominance with members of my D/s family. And now, that dominance has grown and matured, with the help of my girl Kittlen. 🙂

Continue reading “Yingle Yule!”

Talking Loud and Saying Nothing

Kittlen’s former dom resurfaced last Thursday. Ezee hasn’t been on Second Life or FetLife for months. He made a few brief appearances on Facebook and Twitter, which I know about because both Kittlen and Coyote reported this to me.

Continue reading “Talking Loud and Saying Nothing”

Missed Connections

( The events in this blog post took place between the 9th and 17th November 2017. )

This past week has not been great, for myself or Kittlen.

It should have been great. A chance for us both to recharge. But things didn’t turn out the way they should have.

(I had pushed myself too far, and, when telling my owner, she decided that I should have a mind vacation—a hypnotic trance that would last until midnight Sunday my time. Kittlen was not involved in the decision—she was told of it, and given no choice. She has permitted me to use her own words from her point of view. The entire journal, with our commentary to each other, may never see the light of the internet. It was a tool she used to help her get through.)

Continue reading “Missed Connections”